Alternative Metrics

Let’s cut to the truth of why some people say we should respect Trump supporters- because they have guns.  Lots of guns. And can fix our car. And unclog our drain. They know how to tie a trucker’s hitch and have a Pick-up to borrow when we need to move our chest of drawers.  And did I say they have guns?
Trust me, I know these people because they are my people. If they aren’t your people, then let me help you. Think of this as a Progressive’s guide for recognizing the opposition.
There are many distinguishing factors in case you want to know- I look for tattoos of defunct Hanna Barbara characters posing with equally defunct firearms- (note that also works for recognizing the women Trumpettes.)
If you can’t see their ink, then go to the check out stand at Cabela’s and look for people shopping for hunting-themed outer wear.
 If there is no Cabela’s near you, then drive through the hood and look for open garage doors and people in said Hunter-themed attire standing around an old Nova up on blocks with the engine in a hoist where it is common to play Hackey-sack with a dead bird.
 If you’re blind, then listen for anyone debate the merits of bow hunting and mixed martial arts.  Independently, it doesn’t confirm political ideology but if someone has distinct talking points on both subjects you can assume you’re talking to a guy / gal who has a gun or wants a gun or used to have a gun.  From there, do the math.
Whatever classifying method of identification you use – you can also have them read this and see if they turn red in confusion and anger- we can all rally behind this non alternative fact: these people are inflicted with systemic ignorance. They are often poor and make up for these handicaps by arming themselves to the teeth and stock piling canned goods.
Sadly, they have been used to push forward a policy that will, at best, do nothing for them by appealing to their sense of betrayal .  In short, these fine people have been marginalized and stripped of agency by the very people they turn to for marching orders to direct their hate.
We know this.  Everybody knows this.  Everybody except them.
The conservative scientists who created them are now looking for ways to reverse engineer what they exploited. Because they have guns. Lots of guns and simply do not understand the real battle they are merely cannon fodder for.
Take away their guns and they are nothing more than another sublimated mass of people caught up in pursuit of demagoguery.  Forgive them, don’t get behind them at the buffet line, and for god’s sake stay out of rifle range

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